I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i dont even know how to be here
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
