After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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