Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
