Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
