i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
