Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Couch. On fire.
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