It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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