I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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