I wannas sexs uuuuu
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
