If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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