forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
