That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
