we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
