FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
