i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
