Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
