It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
