And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
