i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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