Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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