The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
