oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
