Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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