I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize