I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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