Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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