Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
