so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
