This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
