so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
