omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
