do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
