Only a mothe r could love this liver
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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