TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
