I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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