So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
