His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
