even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
