So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
