ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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