Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize