That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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