you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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