Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
