Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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