Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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