she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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