New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize