So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
its liver damage thursday
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize