she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
