oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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