I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
