he shaved USA in his pubs
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
