all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
