I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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