Duck Duck Cougar?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
