pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dear god my vagina.
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