when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
