I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
